The Positives of the Negatives

Happy People

At Child’s Voice we focus on positive reinforcement, saying, “Please walk,” not, “Don’t Run!” “Please keep your hands to yourself,” instead of, “Don’t touch.” With all this talk of the positives, I’m going to flip things around and talk about the opposite – the positive OF the negatives—the Don’ts.

Dr. Dan Baker, co-author of What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better, offers these tips:

Self-help books often recommend doing the things that happy people tend to do, but just as important is NOT doing the things that happy people tend not to do…

1. Happy people DON’T blame other people for their problems.
They take personal responsibility when things go wrong—even when those problems truly are someone else’s responsibility. If we take responsibility for our problems, then we take responsibility for solving those problems.

2. Happy people DON’T overreact to the present moment.
If you catch yourself worrying about a recent negative event, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Move past mistakes and focus on how you’re learned.

3. Happy people DON’T use negative language
They rarely chastise themselves or insult other people. Talk about moving past the problem or challenge and the valuable lesson learned or improvements.

4. Happy people DON’T feel trapped
They focus on the options that remain, even when outside forces greatly restrict the paths open to them.

5. Happy people DON’T focus on a single passion or relationship
They usually have multiple hobbies, belong to multiple clubs and organizations and socialize with a broad range of different friends and acquaintances. Try new things!

6. Happy people DON’T procrastinate
They usually get unpleasant tasks over with so that they can move on to happier things. Set your own deadlines well in advance of an unpleasant task’s actual deadline. Break big unpleasant tasks down into more manageable segments. Promise yourself that you will do something that makes you happy as soon as you complete the unpleasant task.

7. Happy people DON’T gossip
If they are told something in confidence, they keep the secret. If they have something critical to say about someone else, they either say it directly to that person or they don’t say it all-they don’t complain to a third party.

So Let’s Be Happy!!